An attempt at Trolling by a Weirdo
by funkyorange
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Will start after My Immortal's finish: I will troll like Tara and then post a chapter where everything is spelt right. Flame, but don't be serious about it. It's a joke, people.
1. Prologue

Hello. Would you like a jelly baby?

Before I head into the mysterious world of trolling, I would like to say the following:

If you have not read my other 'By a Weirdo' stories, you may be lost.

This is not serious.

There will be no spell check in my story.

This will continue the saga of Ebony.

I will write out a serious chapter for those who want to read it (a chapter with spell check) and post it. I will, however, troll first.

This story is going to end abruptly.

I am not serious. I am a better human being then Tamara (author of _Your Life with Ron Weasley_) and Tara (author of _My Immortal_).

Flame all you like, just don't be serious about it.

There will be Mary Sues galore.

It will continue from where My Immortal left off, so it will be short.

And finally:

Enjoy.

Love, funky xxxxxxx


	2. A very, very short chapter one

i triyd tol gt to voldfmrtt. hois ugcly preppy fece4 wif n nose greted me. Dis woz not ghud. So i jumpd in frunt of da bullit hed sent at drgo. It hurt me whn it hit. I deecided 2 give up da fite. I woz ging 2 dye.

Itz a shrt cchapta but da next wll be longr an dot wryy but evoby se wll be oky.

**TRANSLATION:**

**I tried to get to Voldemort. His ugly preppy face with no nose greeted me. This was not good. So I jumped in front of the bullet he'd sent at Draco. It hurt me when it hit. I decided to give up the fight. I was going to die.**

**It's a short chapter but the next will be longer and don't worry about Enoby she will be okay.**

_Well, what do you think? Am I Tara-ish enough? Or should I just abandon it here?_

_Love, funky xxxx_


	3. The End Forever Maybe Not sure

Stp flammin pppl. Itz meen.

I wuke up att the hsptl weng. I woz wering a blu hosptl gwn and i woz wereing black makep. drago woz sat bi mi bed watginf my. it woz cyute. his dlond here and bleu iez woz wurrid. "enoby u nerly dyd," he sed, and i sed "whut is guing on" and he rplid "vadrmort is ded," he sed. "vamyre woz fiting him and den he deyd of a hart attak. it woz ptty funnni. he wnt red abd stuf."

"oh" i sed.

"yh" i sed.

"uh hu" he sed. i luked at his blu eyz and sexah har. i tuk ofdf my clothz black coorsit thngy and a blak skrt. hde put hiz\ cooook in mi hle snf we orgyd. he den lft andf vampre cam uin. "hi" he sed. "im gladf ure not ded."  
>"im gkadf ure not."<p>

and den i fell aslepl. nd i dremt i woz in a big rd plz wifv Willo. willw woz ded in da batle. i woz sad se wsoz ded..

sudnly io wked up and wnt 2 mi rum. i new dat willow oz gune bt i had 2 ckec. and den wen i seed her bred was empte ki slittid my riists. Then i wked up in diz pllac wre thr woz a gurl and he woz wering a pnk drss. i luked afrund an evry1 wz werin pink. it woz awul. den i reeelised. i woz in heven.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Meanwhile...

Harry woke up, blinking. _Why am I in the library?_ He thought. _I was... talking... to Ginny. _

The Harry Potter characters never remembered their brief time as 'goffs'.

**Don't flame. It's mean.**

**I woke up at the hospital wing. I was wearing a blue hospital gown and was wearing black makeup. Draco was sat by my bed watching me. It was cute. (You see, I'm trying to make her screwed up. Is it working?) His blond hair and blue eyes were worried. "Ebony you nearly died," he said.**

**I said, "What is going on?"**

**He replied "Voldemort is dead. Vampire was fighting him and then he died of a heart attack. It was pretty funny. He went red and stuff."**

"**Oh. Yeah," I said.**

"**Uh huh." He said. I looked at his blue eyes and sexy hair. I took off my clothes, a black corset thingy and a black skirt (never mind hospital gowns) he put his cock in my hole and stuff and we had an orgasm. (This killed me to write this.) He left and then Vampire came in.**

"**I'm glad you're not dead," he said.**

"**I'm glad you're not," and then I fell asleep and I dreamt that I was in a big red place with Willow. Willow had died in the battle. I was sad she was dead.**

**Suddenly, I woke up and went to my room. I knew that Willow was gone but I had to check. And when I saw her bed was empty I slit my wrists. Then I woke up in this place where there was a girl and she was wearing a pink dress. I looked around and everyone was wearing pink. **

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **

**(The rest is hopefully clear.)**

_So, the end of My Immortal, written while listening to Katy Perry's Circle the Drain and Last Friday Night and stuff. Just thought you'd like to know. Please review and stuff, and Imma Wiserd will be updated soon. As will Starry, Starry Night. Not sure about The Hogwarts Experiment, but probably. _

_Love funky xxxxxxx_


End file.
